Alex's Room:)

Alex's room is still a work in progress as he is still in our room, and we don't have a crib:) And its acting as a selling place for all addy's clothes right now!
But here are two additions we added this weekend! I am in love with my Etsy purchases, courtesy of gift $$ from the grandparents;)

The theme of his room is Owls;)

my baby is growing up!

I had Alex's one month check up today, so I dropped Addy off at a new friends place.
Back track..we put addy into a dance class this year; one that I originally didn't think was going to last, but has turned out to be great for both her and me! the reason..friends! for both of us;) I have always said I don't need more best friends, I have lots of amazing tight girls in my life, but I would love a community. Being fairly new to my town, its something that I have been desiring. And we are starting to find it:) And her dance class has been very instrumental in that process for me. The other great thing is that two of those moms, with little girls live within the same block or so as me; which is even better!

So this weekend when I realized I had his appointment, yet my family wasn't able to watch Addy I had a light bulb moment. my new neighbors! So I messaged one of the mamas and she said no prob! I dropped addy off at quarter to two, with the intention of picking her up a half an hour later...well, i went to pick her up, and what happened?? I was dismissed! haha So the mom said she would be happy to keep addy for a bit and walk her home later as its gorgeous outside today:)! so..two hours later, my girl came home!!

So many feelings in this moment. First of all, i feel so blessed to find some great moms, to be friends with and new friends for Addy!
Second of all, seeing my girl grow up and be more and more independent, and make her own little friends..melts my heart!!
Thirdly, to come home to a quiet house and hang out alone with my boy for a few hours was a treat, and a great reminder...I need breaks once and a while. They rejuvenate me, and fill me up to give more. Again, for the hundredth time, its reminding myself to not feel guilty, and realize that in the long run its doing great things for both of us!!

So all in all a successful lovely day that started out with some great park time and sun with fresh air, and an afternoon of peacefulness!

And with some never ending dark clouds hanging over us, these little breaks of sun in our spirit are so good:)

Alexander Reid Colbourne

On February 5 at 11pm something happened to me that I never thought would happen..my water broke. On its own! See my last labour was induced and it was horrible. I hated being induced, it was not a fun experience at all. And this time around I really really wanted to go into labour on my own. Actually there are two things that I really wanted, to have a "normal" labour, and to have a VBAC. I had been working really hard and through a lot of stuff the past three months or so to come to a good place in my heart of trusting God for a positive outcome. I really struggled with having a cesarean the first time around and was really hoping to to have a natural labour this time around. I did everything I thought possible to try and help the situation. I went to acupuncture, I took Evening primrose oil, mothers cordiel, I squated, and walked and did everything to get my baby's head to engage, but it didn't. I also got a doula this time...which I highly highly highly recommend! I told myself whatever the outcome, I was going to do everything in my power to try and have a VBAC, but also trusting that if that wasn't the plan, than I know I did everything I could, and it just wasn't in his plan.
I was so thrilled to go into labour on my own, and i will cherish that painful experience:) lets just say, contractions around scar tissue from previous c section=not fun!:) I laboured all through the night, and went to the hospital about six am. I progressed to about 5 cm by 8:30am, but for the next six hours there was no change in my cervix, the baby's position(he still hadn't engaged),..nothing. I was discouraged. There were tears in the shower as the 13 hour mark of labour hit, and the fatigue was taking over. As back labour began around 12, I knew that this wasn't going the way I hoped. I had an epidural at 1ish, to try and get my body to relax as he had gone transverse(hence the back labour), but nothing after an hour or so. I knew my fate, another c section was on its way. I had tears, many tears, but I also felt a tremendous amount of peace. At 3:40pm on February six, my sweet angel, Alexander Reid Colbourne was born, all 8 pounds 12 ounces of him! And i was so in love! My feelings were indescribable so much more real this time.

So this is what I learned. Even though the outcome was the same as with Addyson, the process and journey was SO much better. I was calm, I was focused, The presence of God was so strong around me, I had great support, and I had time to think and make objective decisions, not irrational ones based on fear and pain like last time. I know that I didn't fail. I know after 18 hours I really gave it my all! And i know its probably just my body, pelvis, size of babies, ect that wont allow me to do it the other way. Oh and on top of that he had the cord double wrapped around his neck:) We made the right decision...

I could write pages and pages in detail about the whole experience and how amazing it was and how much I learned, but I will leave it at that, as a lot of it I am still processing.

And how am I doing?? Well, overall pretty good! I am so much stronger emotionally this time. I do have my moments of tears, I am exhausted, I am adjusting, we have been plagued by illness, but overall I still feel good:) I am calm and strong, and peaceful, and trusting God through every moment of the day! I have a beautiful baby boy, who I adore. I have a gorgeous little girl who considering her world was just rocked is doing well:) She has her moments and needs lots of mommy right now, but overall I am so proud of her! So yes, I am oh so tired, and would like a full nights sleep...but those days will come, and i am trying desperately to sink in to every moment with my kids as I know this year is going to go by really fast!

Word for 2012

So I have had this word on my heart for a while now, and ironically enough I figured it was time to write it down because this week it has already been put into practice. My word is a little different than others as its not an adjective or a verb, but a noun. My word for this year is HOME. After working crazy shift work hours for the past year and a half I was missing being at home with my girl so much because I really loved the time and place we were in right before I went back for work. And the great thing about working part time is that it really makes you appreciate the time you do have at home. The hardest part for me was weekends. I hated working weekends because I wanted to be home with my two favorite people desperatly. So you would think when I went on medical leave back in December as an early start to mat leave, as i was physically just done with my job(pregnant on your feet, in a physically demanding job 30 hours a week, not so fun*grin*), that I would be thrilled. And dont get me wrong, apart of me was, but there was another part of me that was terrified of starting what felt like a new life, again, for the millionth time. I am a creature of routine, I thrive in routine and consistancy, but for the past few years we have not had that at all..well actually ever since we got married its been that way to the point that I finally starting to accept the fact that this is just life:)*grin*
Anyways....back to how my word came about:) well, when I went on mat leave the first time, it was good, but there was days a was definitely bored. I don't have a huge community out where I live and I wasn't going to get in my car multiple times a week to have entertainment. Plus, lets face it, play dates and going places is a lot easier with a baby vs a toddler:) So now this time around its a whole different world. Play dates get complicated because babies just don't lay there anymore..toddlers move, and talk and fight..and and, so thats a whole new world. Its great in the spring and summer when they can run free, but confining a few in a home for a few hours can get nutty:) We still do it, but again, not the same! Going anywhere with a toddler is just different, and well my kid likes to be home. We do a lot and try and go on adventures, but on a tight budget in the winter this gets tricky:) So again, going on leave made me panic a bit. I knew I would be busy once the baby comes, but trying to think of things to do to keep my 2.5 year old busy 7 days a week seemed a little daunting. So this is how I came about to my word. The last couple of months i have been on quite an interesting process with God, and its been really good. trying at times, painful, as most emotional and spiritual growth spurts are, but good, really good. So with this new baby soon to arrive, I really have been trying to come to accept my soon to be new circumstances, and this week was a great test of these circumstances. I love my home, I love being at home, I love my down time, I love being with girl...but, I also don't do well being isolated. I am an extrovert, I need people, they energize me, fill me and make me better. And I can feel that when my cup doesn't get full. So this last week with our lovely snow storm, and being stuck at home all week was quite a challenge for me..but I have to say, I did great! I felt really calm and at peace and wasn't going to crazy at all. Nutty at times, and disappointed in fun plans that had to be cancelled, but I made the most of it. I know this next season of my life is going to have me home a lot, and I am really trying to find peace in that, and find little things to do that don't take me away from being present for my kids but still fill me in my home environment and bring me joy:) So that is my long winded answer at how I came to my word...finding contentment in just being at home with the people who need me most, but yet getting that balance of me time to fill my cup and rejuvinate so that I am better for them!

Home Projects:)

Over the month of December my hubby had some time off so we decided to make the most of it and get some stuff done around the house! it was great! Here are some of the stuff we have been busy doing!! First though a picture I took today from the view in our living room! what a gorgeous day!! My apple tree:)


We painted both Addyson's room and the baby's room over the holidays:) Addy's is a full on pink princess room as you can see;) I hate indoor pictures with my camera though as they never do things justice:) but its fun and bright and girly:) The bookcases were an idea off of pintrest! I love them! Ikea $7 spice racks painted white! I have found some great things off of the site and put them to good use....quite proud of myself actually:)
The first project we painted was this old toy chest. It was mine:) My grandpa built it for me when I was seven:) Twenty two years later its in my little girls room:) it was aged with tacky old stickers. We slapped some white paint on it, put a new handle on, and put these stickers my mom gave addy for christmas, and again, a great new addition to her new princess room:)
Addy's old changetable. It was $30 from walmart, beech wood like the little stand we have next to it. Again, slapped on some paint, and walla, it looks antiquey and new;) Its in the baby's room:) we painted it a dark grey which turned out a little bluer than expected, but a love the color, and know that I can accent either blue or pink, or yellow, depending on what the sex is!

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Spice racks! I bought these at Ikea, and than painted them! I love having them, and not having to worry about digging through my small spice cupboard for stuff! And they filled that whole on the wall so perfectly:)





My hallway with my first attempts at canvas pictures;) loved doing these and can't wait to do more:)! That wall will be filled with more once this baby makes its arrival!

this is the bookcase in the babies room:) it used to be a beech wood color, cheap from Home Depot. We painted it and removed the crappy back part! I love it!
Anyways, there's some of the things we have been busy doing:) It was fun, and I love seeing Cost effective projects come together! The paint we used for all the furniture is one of my new favorite things! its called Ann Sloan chalk paint, and i am addicted:) Its called Chick paint..for a reason:) Super low VOC, and easy to use! We didn't have to strip any of our old furniture you just paint over top! its really popular to do distressed and vintage furniture! Anyways, thats my plug for that product..again I love it! We have my granny's old dressers from the 1960's that we are going to be repainting for Addy's room. And its probably toxic old oil paint..so no stripping, no fumes, just going to put the coat of paint over top! I will be back with the before and after for that:)!

I recommend

I found this website on pinterest and it looked great! I recommended checking it out before but I hadn't tried anything from it yet. However, I have tried a few things from her site so far, and its on my blog roll, but this one is definitely one of our favorite dinners right now! Oh, and if our modification, because who doesn't love cheese??:) melt some cheddar cheese on top! Delish!!

http://www.the-girl-who-ate-everything.com/2011/07/taco-pasta.html

Taco Pasta
Source: adapted slightly from Fake Ginger

1 pound ground beef or turkey
8-12 ounces medium pasta shells or other small dry pasta shapes
1 small onion, chopped (about 1 cup)
1 clove garlic, minced
1 (14 oz.) can diced tomatoes with mild green chilies, drained (if making this for kids you might want to use just plain diced tomatoes)
1 packet (4 tablespoons) taco seasoning
3 ounces cream cheese
1/2 cup sour cream
1/4 cup chopped cilantro
Salt and pepper

Bring a large pot of water to boil. Cook pasta according to the package directions. Drain, reserving 1/2 cup of pasta water. Set aside.

Meanwhile, in a large skillet or sauté pan, cook the ground meat over medium-high heat until no longer pink. A few minutes before the meat is cooked through, add the chopped onion to the skillet. Once the meat is cooked through, mix in the garlic and cook until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Add in the diced tomatoes and taco seasoning and let simmer over medium heat for about 3-5 minutes.

Stir in the cooked pasta, cream cheese, sour cream and reserved pasta water, and continue stirring until the cream cheese is melted and the sauce is well blended. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Simmer over medium-low heat 3-5 minutes to reduce the sauce a bit if it is still too thin.

Toss in the cilantro right before serving for some fresh color and flavor. Serve with a green salad.

One Month to go!

One month to go till our new baby is set to arrive. Obviously it really could be anytime from now till 10 days after the expected day; as well all know, these critters have a mind of their own and show up when they want to!

I am so ready for this baby! I am so anxious everyday counting down the days till my Christmas..the day my baby arrives:) I think it being the second time around, knowing the outcome, a baby does really come out*grin*, and having a good age gap between these two kids makes me feel as prepared as I can be! I feel more relaxed and sure of the process and really knowing how little you need in the first while to survive. Diapers..check, sleepers...check, receiving blankets...check, boobs with milk...check:) really beyond that, its just details!
I am excited to have a doula this time around, and know that is really going to help! It takes the pressure off my mom and my hubby as last time things didn't go smoothly, and this time they don't have to carry all that stress of helping me except for being there for me emotionally, and loving me:)

Having had a c section the first time around I am really hopeful to have a v bac this time, but I have also come a real peace in the last two months about things, and trusting God that how ever this baby comes out, at the end of the day all that really matters is a healthy baby. and that is what I pray for. That, and having joy in whatever the circumstances are:)

It really is amazing how different things are the second time around. Not better or worse, just different, and i like it:)

I also cant wait for Addy to be a big sister. I am a little nervous at times at how things are going to go. The jealousy and temper's..not sure what this will bring, but overall I know she is going to be love this baby, and be a great big helper to me! She already loves to feed other babies their sippy cups or bottles, its quite endearing:)
Another part of me is a little sad to see this special time we have had together the last two and half years alone come to an end. That's why I really want to make sure to make it my mission to carve out special time just for me and her, as I cherish it so much and I don't want to loose that bond we have! So now its just a waiting game, getting through another week till I am full term and than wishing and praying every day for it to make its appearance sooner than later;) Otherwise I might end up with a valentines day baby! no better love than that:)!