4 years today

4 years today my world totally changed. In some ways more than I expected, some changes have been hard, but some have been amazing. Its funny, but on days when I feel hopeless about the future or that these temporary hard circumstances in our life are never going to end, I think about how much has changed in just four short years for me. 4 years ago today I married a man who I thought I loved dearly. I was infatuated, "In Love" so full of emotion and glee and excitement for what lied ahead. But little did I know the sometimes harsh reality of what it meant to be a MRS. They weren't kidding when they said marriage was hard! But the funny thing is that its not hard for the reasons I thought would make it hard. What I have learned in the past four years is that growing up is hard, life is hard, and marriage just takes the brunt of those realities. What I have learned is that marriage is such an amazing journey, like no other relationship you will ever have in human form. I love the security that marriage has provided, the friendship, the confidant, the coziness, and the place of feeling at home like never before. I love how bringing children into the mix makes you not just a couple anymore but a family, and for the first time since becoming a mom I feel that separation from my own parents..Like for the first time I can do this, I can get through things. Do I still desperately need their love and support, absolutely..but my go to now is my husband, because we are in this together;)

I say that I thought I loved the man I married on our wedding day, but what I realize now is that I had no clue what real love is..but now, finally, now, I feel like I am really starting to get it. Its not always sunshine and roses, there are some pretty dark valley's we have and are currently walking through, but our reliance on the lord and each other has brought a depth in our relationship that has taught me what real love is. Its not a feeling its an action. An action that is required to be put to use every day.

So looking back over these four years, sure there are things I think we both would say we would change..but absolutely there is no doubt in my mind that I would do it all over again:) I am grateful for this love that I have in my life, and the little loves it has given me along the way. I am hopeful and excited for the future and for what God has in store for us for the next four years! I am glad that I love this man more today than I did four years ago:) Now don't get me wrong..a few nights away kid free, some more date nights, lots more laughing and playing are things that I miss at times..but those things will come. Today I am just going to reflect and be grateful for where we are at and what we have done together..because I think we make a pretty good team!