Alexander Reid Colbourne

On February 5 at 11pm something happened to me that I never thought would happen..my water broke. On its own! See my last labour was induced and it was horrible. I hated being induced, it was not a fun experience at all. And this time around I really really wanted to go into labour on my own. Actually there are two things that I really wanted, to have a "normal" labour, and to have a VBAC. I had been working really hard and through a lot of stuff the past three months or so to come to a good place in my heart of trusting God for a positive outcome. I really struggled with having a cesarean the first time around and was really hoping to to have a natural labour this time around. I did everything I thought possible to try and help the situation. I went to acupuncture, I took Evening primrose oil, mothers cordiel, I squated, and walked and did everything to get my baby's head to engage, but it didn't. I also got a doula this time...which I highly highly highly recommend! I told myself whatever the outcome, I was going to do everything in my power to try and have a VBAC, but also trusting that if that wasn't the plan, than I know I did everything I could, and it just wasn't in his plan.
I was so thrilled to go into labour on my own, and i will cherish that painful experience:) lets just say, contractions around scar tissue from previous c section=not fun!:) I laboured all through the night, and went to the hospital about six am. I progressed to about 5 cm by 8:30am, but for the next six hours there was no change in my cervix, the baby's position(he still hadn't engaged),..nothing. I was discouraged. There were tears in the shower as the 13 hour mark of labour hit, and the fatigue was taking over. As back labour began around 12, I knew that this wasn't going the way I hoped. I had an epidural at 1ish, to try and get my body to relax as he had gone transverse(hence the back labour), but nothing after an hour or so. I knew my fate, another c section was on its way. I had tears, many tears, but I also felt a tremendous amount of peace. At 3:40pm on February six, my sweet angel, Alexander Reid Colbourne was born, all 8 pounds 12 ounces of him! And i was so in love! My feelings were indescribable so much more real this time.

So this is what I learned. Even though the outcome was the same as with Addyson, the process and journey was SO much better. I was calm, I was focused, The presence of God was so strong around me, I had great support, and I had time to think and make objective decisions, not irrational ones based on fear and pain like last time. I know that I didn't fail. I know after 18 hours I really gave it my all! And i know its probably just my body, pelvis, size of babies, ect that wont allow me to do it the other way. Oh and on top of that he had the cord double wrapped around his neck:) We made the right decision...

I could write pages and pages in detail about the whole experience and how amazing it was and how much I learned, but I will leave it at that, as a lot of it I am still processing.

And how am I doing?? Well, overall pretty good! I am so much stronger emotionally this time. I do have my moments of tears, I am exhausted, I am adjusting, we have been plagued by illness, but overall I still feel good:) I am calm and strong, and peaceful, and trusting God through every moment of the day! I have a beautiful baby boy, who I adore. I have a gorgeous little girl who considering her world was just rocked is doing well:) She has her moments and needs lots of mommy right now, but overall I am so proud of her! So yes, I am oh so tired, and would like a full nights sleep...but those days will come, and i am trying desperately to sink in to every moment with my kids as I know this year is going to go by really fast!