Tuesday, November 30, 2010

December first...tomorrow...really??

Well its almost here...the big C that is, meaning Christmas, not the tv show;) Which I am curious to watch by the way...ok, anyways, back onto my topic:) Tomorrow is December first and I think I am still a bit in shock over that. As usual time is flying! Things are starting to feel a little settled around here..in some aspects. I am still in the new stages of my new promotion at work, but feeling more settled in it now because now that I have moved up a step my schedule is more routine, and not so much all over the place. I have gone to three maybe four days a week, and full days instead of this five days a week, 4-7 hour long shifts. And no sundays!!
It was way too much..it was killing me emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. I definetly wasn't finding a good balance in my life, and I don't function well when my life is out of balance! Anyone else out there that can relate? so yes this 24 hours a week or so is managable, still not ideal, as ideal would be full time at home with my girl; but managable. I know financially i should work more, but its just so not worth it!! and that is a great feeling to know. So basically my priorities are figured out in my heart, and I know God is going to bless my family for that. And even this week things seem more encouraging.
The one poopy part of this last while has been the illness in this house. Due to shift work, going back to work, and life stress I have had a cold for the past three months it feels like. Off and on it keeps coming back and I just can't seem to feel better. And this week my poor little girl got it:( Its been rough, with the multiple wake ups in the middle of the night, and the sick little girl who is not too happy right now..but I believe the antibiotics are starting to kick in and I am hopeful for a better day tomorrow for both of us!
I have also been getting back into my devotions and that has been helping me a lot..what a concept right??!
Another big step for me this week was to start doing something for myself. With having to work a job I don't love, and that is just a job, my heart has been aching. Aching for meaning, purpose, and a plan. So I have finally put into action something that has been on my heart for really, 15 years, but more directly in the past three. I always thought I wanted to be a nurse, a neo natal one to be exact..I love babies!! its true:) But every time i would start out my schooling down that path it just wouldn't work out. I have tried three times now; no joke! well, while I was pregnant with Addyson it started to dawn on me what I wanted to do. I wanted/needed to be in some sort of health care, helper role but I just hadn't figured out what that looks like yet. My dream, if I had the money, and a school closer to me would be to become a midwife. I wouldn't do it with little ones, but once they are all grown up I would be all over it. So than I started researching the Doula program, and realized, hey, this is something tangible that I can do. It got pushed to the back burner, but has started to creep up again this last while. So I decided last week to just go for it. I ordered my first set of books and I am on my way to reading this fantastic material. I have decided for now I want to pursue the post partum Doula program as I don't think it would be smart for me to try and balance, 3am deliveries with my own little ones, but the post partum one is feesable. The other thing I have decided is that i am doing this for myself. Meaning, if Never make a dime off of it I don't care I am doing this for me, and that feels good! I think the post partum thing spoke to me as I know what it is like to adjust in those first couple of weeks under unexcted circumstance, due to a c-section in my circumstances, but I have dear friends who have walked much darker paths than me, and I just want to help, be a light, use it as a ministry, whatever God wants from it, its his...so that is exciting to me, and it feels good to get excited! anyways, just needed to write down my life update for myself, and will be back for some christmas things to look forward to, and some recipes! be blessed my blogger friends!

No comments: